What to do?

What do you do when you know you need to do a task (in my case study), but don't know where to start, nor do you really have the focus or determination to start even if you did know where?

Here's my list:

• check email
• catch up on favorite bloggers
• check the news
• check facebook
• change facebook status
• read your friends' statuses
  
• comment on those statuses
• write a blog

I've come to the end of my list only because the list is being made in real time and I don't know what I'll do next. Maybe I'll start studying. Maybe I'll make a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Maybe I'll start writing a novel.

Its funny how I have motivation when there is nothing to do, like sitting in class or on the drive home. "I'm going to spend all weekend studying and really get a handle on my exam prep!"

Maybe that's the difference between me and, say, every successful person out there.

I wonder if Barack Obama delayed the start of his campaign because he did not know where to start (and breaking wildfire coverage was on the news...and he couldn't concentrate because his cat was wheezing).

Dis-Orientation

As if law school wasn't a big enough deal, they have to prepare you for it with an orientation...but wait...that's not enough. They need to prepare you for the orientation - get this - with a pre-orientation.

Now, I did find out a lot of helpful information and was fed a lot of great food (something that I never got at a state school during undergrad). I also got to meet many new friends and future colleagues.

But...

I drew the line when I had to sit in a class room for an hour while an administrator took us on a tour of the USC Law School web site and its features. Seriously. School hasn't even freakin' started yet and we're researching cases and writing case briefs...you'd think we'd know how to browse a web site.

Looking around at the credentials of the other students being oriented, it was clear that I'm on the bottom wrung of academia compared to them. I don't toss words like 'fellow' and 'dissertation' around in casual conversation. I enjoy reading books, usually at home or on a long plane trip, but you'll never, ever, find me in 'the stacks'.

That being said, if I got sick on campus, I could fairly easily assume that I would visit the Student Health Services Center, and if I wanted to work out (not while I was still sick...duh!), I would visit the Student Recreation Center. I'm confident I could find those buildings on a map, or even ask for directions if I was totally lost. No need. I received a personally guided walking tour of the campus. If I could figure this stuff out, no doubt Mr. Rhodes Scholar next to me can. So why waste all those precious man-hours on common sense stuff? How about a mock class using the Socratic method, or an in depth work shop on case briefing?

I think my orientation leaders (who were forced to do the tour) felt the absurdity of the whole thing and, to their credit, made the best of it by padding the tour with good advice.

Not that I'm bitter. I can't think of a better place that I'd like to spend my last few days of freedom before the storm hits than at the campus where I'll be spending the next 3 years of my life, getting to know the people that I'll be spending more time with than my own dear wife.

I shouldn't complain as USC is a great school and I'm privileged for the opportunity to attend. And as banal as parts of the orientation were, it couldn't be nearly as bad as attending that other school in L.A. (sorry GPG), who sent me their letter of rejection today, 10 months after I applied.

Just Do It

That's what my gorgeous wife and I decided this weekend, so we booked our flight to Japan.

Six nights in the Shinjuku area of Tokyo, known for it's many department stores (imagine a Macy's that's 7 stories high, with two more floors underground), and also conveniently near the red-light district. Oh yeah.

We'll be hiking Mt. Fuji (pictured above), visiting some friends that I made on my last visit, and eating, eating, eating.

It may not be the most fiscally responsible decision we've made in our lives, but hey, you only live once.

This will be my 3rd trip there - one tour with a big band and one business trip - of which only a day or two out of 18 was spent actually sight-seeing. It will be incredible to explore the city. Plus, it will be my dear wife's first trip of the continent!

I'm trying...

...to make something of the next three months. School starts in August, and it seems like it can't come soon enough. I work out here and there, read a book here and there, but it all feels like treading water waiting for the impending storm.

Some have said to enjoy the last few months of your life, while others have said to read up on some things to get a head start.

I guess there's nothing wrong with treading water, right? At least it beats drowning!

Photoblogging Monday

It's amazing how fast a week goes. I get back into writing every day, then next thing you know a week has gone by with nary a post.

This weekend was super - filled with jets, friends, basset hounds and a great day with Mom.

Today's photo comes from Descanso Gardens, looking up the stream to the Japanese Tea House, which, by the way, serves my most favorite soda of all time, Melon Cream Soda.

Tea House

Here's To You Uncle Don!

Things hit you at the strangest times.

Last night I went out to dinner with my gorgeous wife and her parents out in Tehachapi. Don't know where Tehachapi is? Draw a line between the middle of nowhere (aka Bakersfield) and Egypt (aka Barstow) and exactly half-way in between lies Tehachapi.

Lest, I digress - I have this strange quirk where I have to order a chicken fried steak (or country fried, depending on the part of town you're from), whenever I eat at a new diner-type restaurant. You know, the type that calls it 'supper' instead of dinner, or uses terms like 'with all the fixin's'.

Ordering that entree at a new eatery is always risky because some places use the worst cuts of meat, pound the crap out of it, then fry it and cover it with gravy to conceal the evidence.

Even though I've been eating healthy, I walked into that diner knowing that I was going to get a chicken fried steak. It was the largest steak I had ever seen, accompanied by mashed potatoes, gravy and corn. I cleaned my plate long after everyone else had finished, giving them time to box up the leftovers and pay the bill. I was still hungry and there was some gravy bits left on the plate so I thought I'd mop those up with a piece of garlic bread.

The in-law's had already doggie-bagged up the garlic bread so there was none to be had, leaving that leftover gravy to sit and go to waste, something I'd never done before. I guess I was visibly upset at this because my mother-in-law asked me what was wrong. That's when it hit me...

My Uncle Don shared that same chicken fried steak quirk with me, and at family meals he always ate everything on his plate and had to have a roll/biscuit/slice of bread to mop up the remaining bits of sauce. If there were none to be had, he would get upset. He passed away a few years ago after a brave battle with cancer. For such a remarkable guy, it's nice to know that some of his lesser-known quirks will be carried on.

Favorite Bloggers

One of my hobbies is taking photos, and every now and then I'm surprised when one turns out. Most of the time they don't.

I'm amazed by those who really have talent at what they do. Many of my fellow bloggers are excellent photographers; one of them being my newest addition to the blogroll, Brienne Michelle Photography.

Whether it's a coffee cup or a full blown wedding shoot, Brienne's creative eye and skill using her camera are stunning. She's a captivating writer too!

By all means, please visit her blog and you can see even more of her work on her web site.

I went to school with her husband (another talented person), and about the time we were deciding to become hetero life-mates, we met our future significant others. Thank God, we are much better off now.

Get Out Of Town

Why is it so hard to pick up and get out of town?

I have nothing to do this weekend and I thought it would be fun to go camping for a night or two. But I just can't commit myself to going. Why is that?

Maybe it's the musician in me that's afraid a gig will come up at the last minute. The last time I made a reservation at a campground, I got called for 5 gigs that weekend (a record for me). Granted, that was 5 years ago and I don't play as much now, nor am I as afraid to turn away work as I used to be.

I guess I should just pick up and go, I'll have a good time.

Photoblogging Monday!

I can't think of a better way to get back into blogging than with a new photoblog (although it hasn't worked the last few times).

I've really been enjoying the last few weeks spending time with friends and my beautiful wife. There's been a few opportunities to get my old trumpet out and make some noise, and I'm making inroads in the constant battle against the weeds in my back yard.

One of these days I'll hopefully have the talent (that many of my fellow bloggers have) of telling a story with my photos. Until then, it'll be show & tell....or, tell & show if we want to be chronologically accurate. I tell the story, then show the photo.

Today's photo is of my good buddy the grouper. He resides in the World of the Sea aquarium in SeaWorld and I've had the pleasure of spending the night with him twice now, thanks to the SeaWorld Adventure Camp. He's always kind enough to let me snap a shot of him 1st thing in the morning, even though he hasn't had a chance to 'freshen up'.

Rolling over at the break of dawn to see his morning face peer out at me has given me a deeper appreciation for my beloved wife, as she experiences the same thing every morning when she rolls over and sees me.

Grouper Morning Face

Double Post Tuesday!!!!

Now that I've started writing again, I just can't stop!

I was bored at work today so I began randomly searching YouTube. After watching a few viral videos, I started looking up old friends like I sometimes do on Myspace and Facebook just by chance someone has posted a video (using their real name).

How freaky is it that I found a video of myself in high school! Now this is a little embarrassing, but in 10th grade my friends and I performed YMCA dressed as the Village People for a talent show.

You guessed it...I was the sailor.

Here's the video.

Enjoy!

Things I Miss

After a few weeks of the emotional high I was on, it all came crashing down to the expected rut I am in now. Spawned by the many changes I will be making this year and cleaning out the garage and finding old mementos, I've been reminiscing a lot.

I feel guilty when I'm in these moods because I think I should be thinking of the future. Those precious minutes of thought spent on my favorite Transformers episodes could be used to cure cancer, solve world poverty or figure out how I'm going to pay for law school.

But when I think of the past, I remember who I am, and that helps guide me where I'm going tomorrow.

So that being said, I'm going to list some things I miss, remember fondly or just can't get out of my head:

• Being one of the 10 million strong and growing Flinstone's kids
• The pinball cartoon on Sesame Street that counted up to twelve
• Anything with tracks and ramps
• Going to Disneyland with no concept of how expensive it was (and not being pissed that everything sold there is made in China)
  
• Knowing every supermarket, drug store and department store that sold baseball cards within a 100 mile radius of my house
• Spending all afternoon building a battle-ready fortified base with my toys but losing interest when it was time to battle
• The awe of 1980's corporate behemoths - Xerox, IBM, Coke, McDonalds, GE.
• Asking my first girlfriend out on April Fool's Day (15 years ago today!) and trying to convince her and then my Mom that it wasn't a joke...the first of many smooth moves in life
• Thinking that a color monitor would be the coolest thing in the world
• Thinking that a color printer would be the coolest thing in the world
• The A-Team, Knight Rider and AirWolf

That's enough for now...time to think ahead for a little bit and dream about the future. Is there anything you miss? Do you live in the past like me?

Blah....

This photo perfectly describes how I feel today:

Negative Connotations

For some reason my name has many negative connotations to it - Dear John letters, toilets and prostitute customers among others. I don't know why...it's such a common name. Off the top of my head I can't think of any other name with such infamous associations.

Spitzergate has brought this to my attention recently.

Speaking of Spitzergate, am I the only one who finds a similarity between his escort, Ashely Alexandra Dupre and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (minus the perm)?

Maybe it's just he big foreheads...

One Step Closer

I took a small, but significant, step closer to true manhood yesterday when I took the time to learn how to properly re-string a weed-whacker.

For 2 years I have haphazardly coiled the plastic cord around the spindle. Neighbors would pull up a lawn chair and a cooler full of beer to watch the intricate dance that is me edging the lawn.

Cue The Blue Danube:
Open garage door. Find weed-whacker and extension cord. Spend 20 minutes untangling cord. Plug everything in and away we go. Start edging. Walk 3 steps. Stop. Flip weed-whacker. Cuss. Re-string. Walk 5 steps. Stop. Flip weed-whacker. Cuss. Re-string. Repeat for another 90 minutes.

Sometimes the cord is too short. Sometimes it is too long and wraps around itself. Sometimes I leave parts out and I don't know why. Every now and then the cord unravels itself and flies like a catapulted viper through the air.

Not any more.

In 5 minutes last night, I had successfully wound the cord. All it took was opening the instruction booklet and following the diagrams. I'm trying not to think how much time I would have saved had I done that in the first place.

The only entertainment my neighbors get now comes from watching me pathetically maneuver the push-mower around the yard.

Rethinking Law School

After reading this explanation on the Texas Democratic Primary/Caucus, I've begun to think that if I can't understand this, maybe I'm not cut out for law school.

So Democrats can vote twice in Texas? And, if you are one of the super-delegates residing in Texas, you can vote 3 times (with the 3rd super-delegate vote weighted much more).

Makes perfect sense.

This Guy's Good

The other day I pulled into a Mobil in Valencia to fill up the tank so I could make my trek back to Egypt.

As I began to fill the tank (and empty the bank account), a Honda Element zoomed in on the opposite side of the pump. I barely noticed as I was deep in thought, brought on undoubtedly by the gas fumes.

My visions of evil oil executives disappeared in a puff of smoke when a guy's head peaked around at the pump.

Guy: Is the gas any cheaper over on this side?

Me, coming out of my daze: Huh?

Guy: I was just wondering if gas was any cheaper over on your side...it's an arm and a leg over here.

Me: Nope, it's the same on my side.

At this point, I couldn't tell if the guy was hitting on me or just being super friendly. It was a little awkward, much like urinal talk, but it was a good line so I went along.

Guy: Do you have a long commute home?

Me: Yep, all the way out to the Antelope Valley.

Guy: Wow, and you work here in the industrial center?

I preceded to tell him what I did for a living then there was a long, pressing silence. I figured it would be rude of me not to show interest in what he did...so I bit.

Me: How about you?

Guy: Have you heard of Amazon.com? Yeah, I set up successful online franchises so folks like you can make extra money, or even work full time from home.

In the time it took me to fill up my tank, we had gone from complete strangers to being one "Wow, that sounds interesting" away from being hooked into his work-from-home spiel.

I was the helpless Millennium Falcon locked in the Death Star's tracking beam of this guy's pyramid scheme sales pitch.

Thankfully, the clack of the gas nozzle shutting off broke the sales pitch trance I was in and I politely wished him a good day and said it was time to hit the road.

Reflecting back, his pitch was beautiful in so many ways. First, I was compromised because I was caught off guard. Second, I fit his mold perfectly - long distance commuter filling up for the ride home wondering how much this tank was going to cost (in dollars and in hours worked that day). Finally, like a good magician, he led me down the path he wanted me to take. Bringing up high gas prices and the commute, but making me question him about his work instead of forcing it on me.

I bet he didn't even fill up, he probably drives from station to station preying on commuters like me. If I was that close to biting (and I usually have a pretty good sales pitch radar), his hit rate must be pretty good.

Anyone else have any good sales pitch stories to share?

Day 2:

I enjoyed a nice respite last night from my applications by attending the infamous Fortune Halloween Party. With the exception of having to walk up the steepest road I've ever seen, the party was great. It's always awkward going to parties where there a several people you somewhat know, even worse when they are in costume. People I would normally recognize (but not know their name) would start talking to me and I would be clueless as to where I knew them from. I guess that's a sign that my costume wasn't good enough since they could recognize me!

I made a dent in my law school applications yesterday by pounding out some supplemental material (work experience, honors received, etc.) for my long shot Yale. I was proud that I got through the dreaded 250 word essay, with great editorial help from my Mom. My next task - the personal statement.

While I spend time on social sites like myspace and facebook, I have noticed that when filling out my profiles I have always had problems with the "About Me" field, often times leaving them blank. Why can I list hundreds of books, movies, songs, heroes and things I enjoy doing, but not a single thing about who I am? Is it a self esteem issue, where I don't want people to read what I think about myself? Is it because I enjoy being undefined? This has created a dilemma for my personal statements, where I need to fill 2 pages worth of interesting, non egotistical yet self marketing stories depicting who I am.

At the same time, I need to convey my reasons for going to law school. It is tough for me to sound convincing since my passion is for music and I don't want to come off as being negative or a quitter. Maybe I just need confidence in the validity of my decision to switch careers. I have always been interested in the law, its processes and to some extent its mystique but never enough to pursue at the sacrifice of my music.

I'm going to think this through some more before I start writing, but after I take a short hike outside and listen through another Japanese lesson to clear my mind.

Day 1:

Saturday morning finds me alone in my Legend of Zelda sleep pants, coddling my cup of coffee with an extra pour of half & half in an attempt to make this day more special. The task at hand is to advance my law school applications to completion - procrastination is responsible for the birth of this blog. Each step during this process has been exhilarating, but at the same time pushing the limits of my cognitive and emotional bounds.

I've always wanted to be a musician -- wait, that's not totally true -- first I wanted to drive the fire engine down Main Street in Disneyland (which I haven't ruled out yet). Sage advice led me to do what I love as a career, for that is where happiness lies. This turned out to not be true for me, as playing the trumpet has turned into work, not the passion that it once was. Taking jobs because they were "at least related to music" but paid the bills has created an environment where I'm both unhappy and not doing what I love - performing.

Divorcing a lifelong passion has not been easy, in fact it has been gut wrenching. My mantra has always been, "There is no gig too far away, or pays too little." Paying my dues would create greater opportunities down the road, but how far down the road does one go if those investments don't come to fruition. I look at Abraham Lincoln and his long list of failures and wonder if I should persist as he did, then I look at my musician colleagues who share my passion, many of whom are twice my age, still paying their dues, and not happy with their lives.

My decision was made strangely enough because of the recent surge in housing foreclosures. Many negative amortization loans had been given; combine that with declining home values and you have people who owe more on something that is worth less . After 12 years of paying my dues, I am at a point where I have to sacrifice more than I did at the start of my career to receive the same, if not fewer benefits.

The most promising advice came from a lawyer who had intended to sway me from law school:

"Most lawyers I know are unhappy people. They work 60 hours a week, have little time for friends and family, and generally don't enjoy what they do."

While I listened to his advice, in the back of my mind I was thinking, "You mean, I can work fewer hours than I do now, in a job just as enjoyable as my current one, and start off with a minimum 300% raise? Where do I sign up? Then I could afford those trumpets I've always wanted to buy!"